Another silly meme, this time stolen from my wonderful friend, Maz.

Go to The Urban Dictionary, type the answers to these questions in the search box, then write the first definition in the results list.

1) Your name?: Katie

A standing handjob performed usually in public places.

“So we went around back and my girlfriend gave me a Katie right there in the hallway”

An absolutetly gorgeous person. Someone who is so amazingly beautiful its almost physically impossible.

“That girl is so beautiful. She must be a katie.”

the name katie is usualy given to one who happens to do exceptionaly well at pleasing their partner. katie’s happen to be very good at making the opposite sex rather “turned on”. one would not regret having been with a katie.

“i want a girl like katie, one who can turn me on and tease me but do a good fuckin job at it ;) mmmbaby!”

2) Your age?: 26

750ml of alky

1 mickey + 1 mickey = a 26

3) A friends name?: Natalie

a sexual encounter with a someone you aren’t in a relationship with.

“i need a couple of natalie’s to forget about suzie.”

4) What should you be doing?:  Showering

To shower. Code for male masturbation and blowin giz all over the place.

“After Emmanuel talks to me he puts up his away message that says “showering” “

5) Favorite Food?: Corn

Something I shitted the other day that I never ate.

::Looks in toilet::
What!?… I never ate any corn!

Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is “Corn” means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment

“Damn bitch, you are Corn!”
or
“Baby, you’re more Corn than Green Giant”

6) Hometown?: Warren

when you take a shit, and laugh after.

“harry could be heard from the washroom as he let out a thundering warren.”

7) Favorite color?: Turquoise

Anal intercourse. A corruption of the French idiom, à la turc, meaning, in the Turkish manner, meaning anal intercourse.

“Do you like it turquoise?”

8) School you go to?: (went to) IUP

Best damn college in Pennsylvania

“Hell’s yeah i go to IUP, you can’t handle my skittles.”

Acronym: I Usually Party.

more accurate: I Usually Puke

9) Last person you talk to on the phone?: Mom

The constant flow of cash and ass whoopings until the age of 18.

“Dude my mom kicked my ass when I blew snot all over her new dress.”

10) Your last name? Williams
A slang term for Bills

“I’ve got stacks of williams’ I need to pay.”

Slang term for the Perineum (area between the male genitals and anus). Similar to Gooch, Grundle and Choad. First used by Jonathan Blostone and Jake Reed, this phrase refers to Robin Williams’ role in the motion picture Patch Adams. Williams’ performance is scatty and confusing, and no one can really tell whether he intends for it to be comedic or dramatic. It’s niether here nor there; niether dick nor ass.
‘Williams’ is used primarily in the South of England.

“He’s got a cracking williams.”

“Apparently he’s got a 16 inch williams.”

Okay, so if you have been living in a bubble and DON’T already know about the creative genius of one Mr Joss Whedon (he of the giant forehead and creator of the Buffyverse), you probably don’t know about his newest amazing endeavours.

Thanks to the hilarity of the writer’s strike earlier this year, Mr Whedon was not allowed to let his juices flow. So he had to figure ways AROUND the strike to still get his unique voice(s) heard.  So what is the answer?

DR. HORRIBLE’S SING-A-LONG BLOG!

A three-part mini-series available online for ONE WEEK ONLY. The first part (ACT 1) debuted this past Tuesday. The second part (ACT 2) appeared yesterday. And the final part (ACT 3) will go up TOMORROW!

I will make my feelings on this very clear. If you are still reading this instead of going straight there and immediately viewing this one-of-a-kind event, you need to be bitch-slapped by Captain Hammer.

Expect a full review once Act III has been released.

Until then, dear readers… I bid you adieu.

So I spend a great deal of my online time reading up on random people/events on wikipedia. I realise that this makes me potentially one of the saddest individuals to ever live, but at the same time, I have an inherent love of learning which forces me to constantly fill my head with useless knowledge which will only possibly one day win me £50 in a pub quiz.

That said, now and then I come across something of interest and feel that it’s necessary to share.

Yesterday, I subconsciously took in a television advert which was playing in the background. I don’t know what it was for, but it advertised the fact that it was hosted by Niki Taylor. The first thought that came into my distracted brain was the fact that my little brother used to be absolutely in love with her. When he was 9 or 10, he even wrote her a letter to say how much he loved her and telling her that he couldn’t wait to grow up so he could marry her.  It was so cute and sweet that my mother couldn’t bear to send it out, so she kept it in her hope chest.  The second thought that came to my head was, “gosh, she must be old by now.” And the final thought was, “Oh yah… her little sister died.”

So these thoughts stayed on my mind for a while, and when I eventually retired to my computer for the evening, I decided to wikipedia Niki Taylor and her sister, Krissy. I was a bit curious about how she’d died, as I was quite young when it happened and couldn’t remember. For those interested, it was a heart disease they didn’t know she’d had. That said, the wikipedia article was HUGELY skewed, saying that she’d died of a cocaine overdose, without any proof of it. I wound up editing the article so that it said she “MAY” have overdosed, and that her family MIGHT have covered it up. It really was quite unobjective previously.

ANYWAY, I also learned that even though Niki Taylor has been around for dog’s years, she’s actually ONLY 33! Crazy.  But the thing that got me thinking (again) was the fact that the article mentions that Niki reckons she’s the youngest ever model to appear on the cover of Vogue, even though it is well known that that honour goes to Brooke Shields, who was 14 at the time of her cover.

So armed with the knowledge of the youngest Vogue cover model, I started wondering who the FIRST Vogue cover model was… And I went on an expedition to find out.

Imagine my surprise when I found that the first Vogue cover looked like this:

Erm. Odd. Somehow I don’t think a marionette is going to count as a supermodel. The earliest issue I can find with a PERSON on the cover is this one:

though I’m not sure if it’s a photo or a painting! Notice the date of July 20th, 1932. That’s 16 years after the first issue came out!! Granted, from what I can see, it didn’t start out as a monthly book. In 1916, there were three covers only (September and apparently 2 Decembers).

Anyway, I found a site which has all the covers (well… MOST of the covers anyway, as I don’t think it’s got more recent ones). It goes up to issue 301, though I don’t know how long ago that was.  Check it out if you’re interested. I, myself, am spent. :)

Recently I’ve been trying my hand at new forms of art. Or at least, new techniques as far as my paintings go. In the past, my methods involved quite a heavy amount of sketching, resketching, tracing the sketches and transferring the finished sketch to the final paper. Of course, with that amount of work, you would expect the final version to be THE version, right? Unfortunately, my not-so-steady hand caused quite the annoyance when it came to getting the transfer done.

As a result, none of my finished paintings have ever looked like the original (and usually better) sketches.  So what’s a gal to do?

I decided to screw perfectionism and just go with my initial sketch.  Today I completed the second of two paintings which are in NO way anatomically correct, but which I’m still super proud of because they are far more PURE. And even better… I didn’t even use reference photos! Yay me!

I’m actually even experimenting with not using my pens to outline things. It’s a scary way of working, but in the case of my second painting, the result was SO worth it. It’s much more ethereal and spooky than it would have been had I simply outlined the whole thing.

Anyway, I don’t have them scanned yet, but I’m going to do so soon. I’ll post them when I have them up.

In other news, vyktoriah.com got a revamp recently, and I’m now able to offer prints! Huzzah! :) So if you like any of my art (including some new ones that I’ve not even posted yet!), head on over to score a deal. In fact, head on over anyway and let me know what you think! I am pretty happy with it at the moment, but god knows I am easily pleased. ;)

So because of an upcoming excursion which would prohibit me getting a full two weeks of early awakening, I’ve decided NOT to pursue the 5:30 wakeups until next month.  It’s a bit of a disappointment, especially since my husband and I were quite in agreement about waking up early together…

Of course this is only a minor setback. I still plan on doing it soon, but it’ll have to wait until mid-June, after my trip, to actually accomplish this.

In the meanwhile, I’ve found a great article from Gretchen over at The Happiness Project who offers up 11 Tips for Sticking to a Schedule of Regular Exercise.

Her tips include psychological help, as well as self-bribery and aversion therapy. Though commenters have felt that she sounds a bit militant with her tips, I found them to be quite helpful and hope to use them quite soon in order to motivate myself to exercise. Once again, I can use them to achieve more of my 101 in 1001 goals regarding health and wellness.

In other news, I finally got around to seeing Atonement last night, as it was sent from the film club I belong to.  I’m not sure what I think of the movie at this point. My feelings are very mixed on the whole thing, as on paper it is exactly the kind of movie I love to love. It had some great cinematography, the story was fairy intriguing, and most of the acting was well done. I’m a huge fan of James McAvoy, and as usual he was excellent at showing great emotion through his face. I think partly my absolute hatred of Keira Knightly coloured my view a bit, making me loathe to admit any enjoyment of the film… but this was not the sole problem.

If you’ve ever seen Eddie Izzard’s standup about British films, you’ll laugh at how closely this movie resembles his act. The awkwardness of the dialogue might have been forgiven in certain circumstances, but the only word I was able to find to describe my overall take on the film was “boring.”

I wonder if Knightley’s direction was a simple, “Try to be Lauren Bacall or Katherine Hepburn… if you can.”  Granted, I would agree with the critics that this was her finest performance by far… but unfortunately that’s not saying much given her cheesy acting in every other film.  Gurning for the camera does not an actress make, and I was much pleased to find a general lack of it in this adaptation. For that I am eternally thankful.

The worst thing by far was the sheer amount of historical inaccuracy in the film. If you’re going to make a film (fictitious or not) which centres around a great war, then at least have the decency to get the dates correct. A simple google search or wikipedia article could set you right.

In the end, I think I need more time to digest the story and think back on it without prejudice to actors, script and/or accuracy and simply let my mind and heart decide whether the overall presentation moved me or not. I think this might take a while!

One of the things on my 101 in 1001 list is to get up every day at 5:30 AM for two weeks. I’ve wanted to be a “morning person” for a long time, but due to my own bad habits, I find that it has been an improbable task.

Today, though, I stumbled upon this article on Steve Pavlina’s blog titled How to Become an Early Riser. And I have to tell you, I found it incredibly helpful reading. Not because Steve tells me something I don’t know (I’ve basically figured out his system for myself), but because he VERIFIES the idea I’ve had all along.

My husband is a prime example of this. Because he has gotten up every morning for 9 years at the exact same time, he finds it VERY difficult to sleep in any later, even on weekends. Some nights he goes to bed earlier than others, but for the most part, he gets somewhere between 5 and 8 hours of sleep.

So my thought is this. As of this Monday (19th May), I am going to set my alarm for 5:30. I am going to awake at that time and get straight out of bed. I’m going to have a leisurely breakfast, a shower and read the news or update my blog. If I do this, I could actually work on THREE of my goals at once (waking up at 5:30, showering in the first hour of the day, and updating my blog daily).

I’m actually quite excited by the prospect though also quite scared. But if I can make it work for two weeks, then perhaps it will become a lifetime habit, and I can finally call myself a morning person.

One can hope.

Rather excitingly, I have an Etsy shop. It’s not much, but maybe it’ll help me actually make some cash!!

Vyktoriah’s Shop