Collective Soul - The World I Know

Has our conscience shown?
Has the sweet breeze blown?
Has all the kindness gone?
Hope still lingers on.
I drink myself of newfound pity
Sitting alone in new york city
And I dont know why.

Are we listening to hyms of offering?
Have we eyes to see that love is gathering?
All the words that Ive been reading
Have now started the act of bleeding into one.

So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the years roll down.
cause its the world I know.
Its the world I know.

I just made the very best vegetarian-friendly sandwich I’ve ever had. It was succulent and filling and less than 300 calories, and I felt the need to share this amazing recipe with all.

It begins as most sandwiches do, with two rounds of bread. In this case, I used two slices of oat and seed bread, but wholemeal would work just as well.

In a bowl, I mixed one tablespoon of low fat cream cheese with a teaspoon of crushed ginger. I spread the mix onto one of the bread rounds. Then, I sprinkled the cheese-topped bread with a few baked and salted pumpkin seeds. About fifteen spinach leaves were then added.

And in a stroke of utter genius, I grated up one fresh organic beetroot and added it to the sandwich. I finished off with the other slice of bread, cut the whole thing in half, and then laid waste to it in under three minutes.

It was most delicious.

This is an autobiography of a boy who was sexually abused by his mother, which led to a life of crime. David Thomas’ mother’s drinking led to her exposing herself to her young son and insisting on his involvement in her masturbation.

I am loathe to review this book for various reasons. First and foremost, it is not up to me to judge a person who was so obviously mistreated. Sexual abuse is a terrible thing, and I have nothing but sympathy for what Thomas went through as a child and into his teenage years. There are many books written by survivors of such abuse, and they are worth reading to get an idea of the kinds of horrors a person can endure and still come on top.

Unfortunately, the book itself was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to read. As a fan of biographies and real-life memoirs, I often buy stories such as this in an effort to learn something about human nature. However, this book should have been ten pages long rather than the two hundred-odd pages it was.

Within the first few chapters, Thomas sets out his goal for the book - to get answers about why his mother did the terrible things she did. Yet, he also admits very quickly that he has never figured it out. That’s just bad storytelling. Getting to the end of a book and realising that there is no resolution makes the fact that you’ve shelled out money for it completely frustrating.

Thomas flits from point to point with little to no segue. He relies on “cliffhangers” every third paragraph, promising that things will always get worse in the next page. However, upon getting to the next page, one realises that the promised upset is put off with yet another cliffhanger.

At best the book is a self-indulgent excuse for the author to glorify his youthful misdeeds. The fact that he is now apparently a world-class motivational speaker makes me wonder how he is able to turn his godawful storytelling skills into a well-paying career.

The long and the short of it is that the book can be summed up in a few sentences: David Thomas, as a child was sexually molested by his alcoholic mother, occasionally beaten up by his stepfather, and eventually turned to petty crime to deal with it. His mother died, so he has no idea if she remembered molesting him or if her drunkenness made her forget. As an adult, he worked to develop his memory and became a grand master of memory.

My advice, if you want to read a worthwhile memoir which deals with far worse victimisation (and far better storytelling) is Blackbird and Still Waters by Jennifer Lauck. Both books show something far more worthwhile.

Tell Me Why, Mummy by David Thomas - Book 4/50 in 2008

Excitement abounds today! I got a new job!

Ross noticed last week that The New Rose, a pub in town was hiring full and part time bar staff. We decided to have dinner there last night, and I submitted my CV to the landlady. She asked me to come in this morning and have a chat. I was there at opening, and I was interviewed by her husband, John.

After a 40 minute conversation, he offered me the job! I start tomorrow on the lunch shift. I’ll be working 11 - 3. I will be doing around 30 - 35 hours per week at £6 per hour, which is WAY less than I am used to earning, but I can still do some hours for Ross to get extra cash.

This is very exciting news, though a bit strange… my mom’s been telling me for years that I should be a barmaid. And my brother works (or rather worked) in a bar for a long time! I’ll learn to pull pints and sling beverages all around. It should be pretty damn cool.

The sad thing is that tips don’t seem to be a big part of working at pubs. Though I’ll be taking orders and filling drinks and waiting tables, I will simply be making the bare minimum.

The good news is that it makes for excellent experience. And being that I’m moving back to the States in about 6 months (Remember I promised big news in an earlier post!), it’ll allow me to get a bar job back in America. And that WILL include tips!

Wahey!

ETA: Had a mental breakdown the second day and wound up quitting… actually, is it still quitting if you just don’t show up? Or is that called getting fired? *shrug*

A sweet story about a 20-something actress and her gay best friend. Evie Crump is unlucky in love and is struggling in her chosen career. Suddenly she finds herself inheriting a large Victorian home from an old family friend. It should be the answer to her prayers, but for the proviso in the will: Evie must not evict or coerce any of the tenants out of the house before they are ready to leave.

The current residents include a bumbling mama’s boy who can’t cook for or dress himself, a stroppy single mother with a mean streak a mile wide, and a mysterious figure who lives upstairs but is never seen. As Evie becomes more and more involved in the lives of her tennants, her own life seems to begin sorting itself out in ways she never could have expected.

A true girly read, the book leaves you fantasizing about your own life and wishing for a generous benefactor to help you sort through the rubble. Highly enjoyable, if a bit twee, I would definitely read more from Bernadette Strachan.

The Reluctant Landlady by Bernadette Strachan 3/50 in 2008

Philippa Gregory is known for her entertaining historical fiction. While the accuracy is often disputed, the stories she weaves are often rich with detail and supported by her own meticulous research. The Other Boleyn Girl is the story of Mary and Ann Boleyn, famed lovers of King Henry VIII of England. It is told from Mary’s point of view, she being the title character.

Mary Boleyn was the good girl of the family. Married as a child bride, she has her place in the court of Queen Katherine of Aragon. She catches the eye of Henry VIII, and when Ann arrives on the scene, she is made by her family to bed the king and have his son, despite the fact that she is already married. Ann has her own ambitions in life, and while she is made to wait on Mary hand and foot, she tries to make her own fortunes. When it becomes clear to the Boleyn family that Henry is not going to leave his wife for Mary, they put their future in Ann’s hands.

The story is ultimately a cautionary tale about greed and family rivalry. The Boleyn’s never shied away from betrayal or blackmail, and in the end, as we all know, Ann and her brother are both executed for the intricate plots they wove. Mary herself is saved, living out her days with a new husband and her children.

The book is truly a guilty pleasure, fun to read and educational, as well. At least as long as you do your own research after the fact. The truth is that Philippa Gregory makes it easy to find an interest in history.

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory 2/50 in 2008

This year saw my second reading of Gregory Maguire’s take on L. Frank Baum’s classic, The Wizard of Oz. Wicked is the untold story about the lives of the witches of Oz, most specifically The Wicked Witch of the West.

Maguire puts a name to the face and gives us a new understanding of how Elphaba (as he affectionately named the central character) came to be. The story follows from before the green girl was born all the way through to Dorothy’s accidental killing. Along the way, we are introduced to a young Glinda the Good, as well as the frighteningly realistic Wicked Witch of the East, Elphaba’s crippled sister, Nessarose.

Both times that I have read the book, I have been astounded at the details which Gregory Maguire included to humanize the Witch of the West. Much of the book seems trivial and mundane, but these ramblings seem to fit within the context of the book. It is, after all, a biography, though admittedly a fictional one.

Though the story ends as it always intended, with the death of the witch, I came away from it feeling triumphant. Elphaba is the red-headed step child that never seems to be on anyone’s Christmas list, but somehow she manages to leave a legacy that is at odds with her reputation. She is a tragically flawed heroine who learns to live, love and even die with grace and integrity.

The book may not change your life, but it will open your mind and help you to realise that the truth is neither black nor white, nor even green. It is a rainbow of colours. The righteous are often hiding deep secrets whilst the wicked are sometimes acting as guardian angels.

Wicked by Gregory Maguire 1/50 in 2008

I just got back from spending a calming weekend down in Portland/Weymouth with my in-laws. Had a great stretch of the legs yesterday, climbing cliffs and rocks and feeling the salty sea spray on my face. I even have a horrible blister on my foot to prove it!

Ross and I dropped the bombshell on his parents that we plan to move to the USA within the next year. They were not pleased, but they reacted pretty well, all things considered. I have a load of pictures that I took while there, but the weather was pretty iffy the whole time, so I don’t think there are any magical pictures to be seen.

Today is Easter Sunday, which doesn’t seem to be a very big deal here in the UK, though I need to call my family back home to make sure they’re enjoying it. I wish I had a chocolate egg to gnaw on.

Tomorrow one of our friends is coming for dinner, so I’m making a gammon roast with some roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables. I’ll post recipes later!

Happy Easter 2008 to those who celebrate it. Also, thank goodness spring is here!

Today has not been great. Firstly, I’m nursing a head cold that has seen me covered in Vicks, snorting Olbas Oil, sucking Halls Sooothers, nearly drowning in a scalding shower/bath and hopped up on every pill that comes in a shiny blister pack.

Then, when routinely opening the door of my den, I caught the nail of my middle finger and bent it all the way back. It has since fallen off (the nail, not the finger) leaving a nice big red mound of pulpy flesh beneath.

Nursing the sore finger, I tried to be extra careful at the next door, only I gave it too wide a berth and wound up ramming my shoulder into the door frame. I now sport a lovely purple bruise on my tricep. Score!

Other than that, things have been going alright. I’m making headway on my 101/1001 project. Right now I’m reading book number 10 for 2008 (Chocolat by Joanne Harris), and I’ve seen two new movies (Little Children and Rumor Has It). So I’m on my way!

In other news, I am going back and forth on which theme to use for my blog. I have about 50 of the buggers uploaded, making it too easy to switch between them. I think I’m happy right now, but who knows how long that’ll last!? I should just make my own already. There’s a great tutorial here explaining how to do it, but I’m not well enough to work on it quite yet. Give me a week or two.

So everyone seems to be doing 101 things in 1001 days. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, so over the last two days, I’ve compiled a list of things I’D like to do. While the final list is subject to changes based on circumstance (for instance if someone mentioned in the list falls out of my life or I suddenly get an injury or illness which prevents me from completing it) the general idea is that I will accomplish the following tasks in the next 1001 days.

Start: Friday, 14th of March, 2008

End: Friday, 10th of December, 2010

The list:

Health/Beauty

1. Get weight down to target weight (ie - lose 100 lbs)
2. See a Dentist to get my teeth cleaned/checked
3. Go without fast food for 3 months
4. Take a shower/bath within the first hour of waking up every day for a month
5. Go to the gym every day for 2 weeks
6. Have my wrist tattoo removed
7. Have leg tattoo removed
8. Have laser hair removal on legs and face
9. Take vitamins every day for three months and gauge results
10. Run a half marathon
11. Run a marathon
12. Get a girlie tattoo (ie - not black and not huge… dainty and colourful)

Mental/Educational

13. Read 50 books in 2008 (10/50)
14. Read 55 books in 2009
15. Read 60 books in 2010
16. Take an art class
17. Memorize the 50 states and their capitals
18. Update my blog every day for three months
19. Write a novel and submit it to publishers
20. Take a photography class
21. Find a way to get a career qualification
22. Read Don Quixote
23. Learn Italian (fluent speaking, average writing)
24. Brush up to become fluent in Spanish
25. Study herbology (thoroughly)
26. Study aromatherapy (thoroughly)
27. Become an expert on something
28. Explore religions
29. Go back to school

Media

30. Watch 12 movies in the cinema per year
31. Watch 50 movies not in the theatre that I’ve never seen before per year (2/50)
32. Go to 10 concerts
33. Go to a Pearl Jam concert
34. Go to a Tori Amos concert
35. Collect autographs from 10 celebrities

Travel

36. Take at least three holidays with Ross
37. Visit at least three foreign countries (other than England or Scotland)
38. Visit Paris
39. Visit Central Park
40. Visit Florida
41. Visit Cornwall and look for fairies
42. Go skiing
43. Take Ross camping in the wild
44. Ride in a boat
45. Visit Lily Dale, New York
46. Go somewhere tropical
47. Take another trip to Glastonbury for a whole weekend
48. Go on a road trip meeting as many people from online as I can
49. Go horse-riding six times

Social

50. Host a Party
51. Join a sport and stick with it for at least one season
52. Join a club or group and be an active member
53. Spend a Christmas at my parents’ house
54. Have sex 100 times (1/100)
55. Have sex outdoors

Solitary

56. Begin a dream diary
57. Create and perfect a “signature” dish
58. Try out for a reality show
59. Invent a board game
60. Sew a quilt
61. Sew a dress
62. Climb a mountain
63. Write a song and try to sell it
64. Keep a written journal updated at least once per calendar month
65. Buy a new wardrobe

Financial

66. Save £600 a month for at least 6 months
67. Make more money than I made in 2007 in 2008
68. Make more money than I made in 2008 in 2009
69. Make more money than I made in 2009 in 2010
70. Buy no superfluous items for a month (ie - clothes, books, snacks, etc)
71. Pay off all debt

Old Goals

72. Vote in an election
73. Write down one thing I’m thankful for each day for a month
74. Win a legitimate contest
75. Have a baby (or be well on the way)
76. Hold down a job for a year

Art

77. Complete 3 oil paintings
78. Complete 15 acrylic paintings
79. Sell at least 10 paintings
80. Sell at least 10 crafts
81. Create a stop motion animation lasting at least 10 minutes
82. Buy one piece of art from every artist I admire

Good Deeds

83. Give Ross a backrub every day for two weeks
84. Leave an excessively large tip to someone who does a great service job
85. Volunteer in some capacity for a charity
86. Find Shetall Shaw, who was my best friend in Kindergarten and reconnect
87. Mend my relationships with people I’ve wronged
88. Donate to charity every month for a year
89. Try to get my dad’s children’s stories published
90. Buy Ross a Jaguar
91. Give my older brother $50 that I owe him on a bet from when I was 5
92. Give birthday and Christmas presents to each member of my family in 2009
93. Review this list every day until I complete it
94. Donate £5 to a charity for every item not completed on this list by the due date

Mundane

95. Write a last will and testament
96. Get my name officially changed on all US documentation
97. Get another cat as a companion for Muse
98. Wake up at 5:30 every day for two weeks
99. Overcome my fear of flying (by possibly seeing a hypnotist)
100. Buy a house in America
101. Get an award for something

Over the weekend, the husband and I worked our magic to get our house properly in order for the first time in who knows how long! We spent Sunday cleaning, scrubbing, rearranging, changing, sweeping and gutting our house in an effort to revolutionise our lives. He’s been on a diet for the last while, and my current borderline diabetic diagnosis has compelled me to finally do something about my ever-increasing girth, as well.

I’m feeling a bit like a real earth child at the moment. I have been nurturing my husband’s goals and aspirations while trying to keep him grounded, as well as helping him to look more pragmatically at the future and the things that need to happen for us to be successful as a couple. Marriage is difficult! The result is that there is big change on the horizon, though I can only reluctantly hint at it right now, as there are other people who need to be notified first.

Lately, I’ve been heartily enjoying playing housewife. My other half jets to work each morning at stupid o’clock, while I have a leisurely (though regrettable) lie-in with the cat. Most days I don’t awaken until nearly noon, which is really not a clever use of time. I have been becoming a bit of a crafty cook, though, scouring recipe books for nutritious and scrumptious meals for us. The results have so far been highly exciting.

On Monday evening, Ross’s sister came for dinner. She’s recently split up with her boyfriend of nearly four years (with whom she owns a house and a dog), so we thought it would be nice to get her out of her house and have a catch up with her. I spent three hours preparing a roasted chicken with stuffing and steamed sweet potato, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and peas. I usually wouldn’t expend that energy on a weeknight, but I’m so enjoying cooking!

Last night I made Curry Topped Salmon with Vegetable Risotto. And tonight it was Chilli Beef and Black Eyed Beans with rice and a side of corn on the cob. Other recent endeavours have been a glorious meat loaf (a la my mother’s tried and true recipe) and a full gammon roast! Tomorrow I will be preparing minted lamb burgers, likely with more corn on the cob, or perhaps some steamed veg.

Friday is “cheat day,” for the diet, so called because Ross gets to pick a fast food dish he likes. Only instead of going to a restaurant, I will prepare a healthy version of that meal at home. I’ll also prepare a healthy but tasty dessert. This week Ross has chosen a KFC meal of Southern Fried Chicken legs with Fries. I’ll be de-skinning the chicken, coating in seasoned breadcrumbs and baking. The fries will be julianne baked to crispness with a light spritz of Fry Lite. Dessert is a sort of Trifle, which will be made with a low fat cookie, Soya custard and bananas.

I’ve also recently been made aware that our local market offers weekly delivery of organic fruit and vegetable straight to your door for the low low price of £10. The food is different every week, though you can order specific foods if you so choose. We’ll be getting our first delivery this Friday, which will no doubt come in useful for next week. I am looking forward to making some risotto with a nice squash!

On the art front, I’ve been making silly paintings and ACEOs for fun to get me back in the swing of it after not having arted since August! The horror!